I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
