great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize