that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
