I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
