Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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