I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
