This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
