Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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