I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
