My brain says no but my pants say off.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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