I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
