i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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