like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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