I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
