New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
