Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
