I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
