Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We need to get me chipped asap
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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