You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
