You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
