it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
