so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He kissed a someone with a penis
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
