white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize