i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
