Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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