Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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