Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Life is so much better after having sex.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
