Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
