Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We talked him into tasing himself.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
