It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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