Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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