my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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