The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize