Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
and you fell through a lawn chair
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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