I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
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Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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