you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
