i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
well you can't waste a boner
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
