i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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