I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize