Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
