I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize