I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
