They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
