what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
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he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
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Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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