I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I cockslap morals
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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