I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
