yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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