Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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