so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize