32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
