it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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