Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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