Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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