we have officially lost it.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
