I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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