Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
