If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
