Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
