Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
