It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
