nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
there's paper in my vomit.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
